Our Blog

Grief reactions in men

It’s very hard not to be influenced by, and to promote, stereotypes in the different ways in which men and women grieve.

Yet, we know that men and women tend to grieve in different ways. Australian society has generally expected that men fulfill a protector/provider role, and that women fulfill a nurturer/carer role. There are lots of theories and arguments about whether these roles are good or bad, where they came from, and whether they can or should be changed. What we do know for sure is that they continue to have a strong influence on our behaviour and how we experience and respond to our emotions.

Roles And Expectations Of Men And Women In Our Society

How men and women grieve is significantly linked to these roles and the different expectations society has of us. The way in which many men deal with loss and grief can best be understood by thinking about their expected role in society. Despite many changes in our society, it is still part of a man’s role to do nearly all of the dangerous, unhealthy and life threatening work. For example, 95% of deaths and permanent disabilities from workplace injuries are male.  Men are generally expected to protect their wives, children, and the community.

How Do Men’s Roles Affect How They Experience And Respond To Their Emotions And Grief?

Men:

  • may tend not to be as emotionally self-caring as women
  • often do not want to be seen to care too much about their own emotional pain
  • may have to connect more consciously with their emotions or grief than women need to do
  • are often reliant on women for a sense of emotional stability
  • may need privacy and a sense of being personally safe before they can face their emotions
  • may need times away or alone to think things through, or to express their emotions
  • may exhibit and express more anger than women appear to do
  • will likely not respond favourably to being expected to be more public or obvious in their emotions than they feel comfortable with
  • may tend to move in and out of their grief issues and emotions more than women appear to do
  • can often achieve the same progress in grieving through ritual activities (such as doing or making something) as women, who may talk and cry out their grief
  • may be more comfortable expressing their grief through action and activity (including thinking things through)
  • may throw their hands in the air if things get tough, for example when trying to find support or information

How Can Grieving Men Best Help Themselves?

There are a variety of strategies that have been identified, including:

  • by showing courage in allowing themselves to experience painful emotions of grief (rather than pushing them underground)
  • by not shutting others out, but keeping communication open in their relationships
  • by communicating clearly to others if they need to be alone and to deal with their feelings in private
  • by tuning into their bodies, learning to understand the impact of their emotions on it
  • by consciously using rituals and activity through which to express and work with their grief
  • by slowing down and making time for being reflective and to connect with their grief (making time to grieve in order for there to be time to heal)
  • by staying close to reliable friends and talking to them
  • by making time to garden or be out in the natural environment
  • by keeping up good health through moderate exercise, good food and plenty of sleep and not consuming too much alcohol

How Can We Support Grieving Men?

In addition to the support suggestions in ‘Supporting the bereaved‘ you might consider the following:

  • phoning or stopping by their home and ask them “How are you going?”
  • ask them openly “What do you need?” rather than “Do you need anything?”, we all need something
  • as they may not seek information or support, they may not know about GriefLink or similar information resources or be familiar with searching the internet. You may like to print off some of GriefLink’s pages or offer to help them discover the internet and their own information
  • maintain usual patterns of contact with them

“Everyone feels the loss, how we handle it is different” (Male, 62)

Other resources

Beyond Blue
MensLine Australia

 

Page last updated: 24 September, 2019

comments (123)

  1. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  2. What¦s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I am hoping to contribute & assist different customers like its aided me. Great job.

  3. The very crux of your writing whilst sounding reasonable at first, did not sit well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a while. I however have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and you might do well to fill in all those gaps. In the event you can accomplish that, I would surely be fascinated.

  4. I feel this is one of the most significant information for me. And i’m satisfied reading your article. But wanna statement on few common issues, The site taste is ideal, the articles is really nice : D. Good activity, cheers

  5. Great beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a weblog site? The account helped me a applicable deal. I had been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast provided bright clear idea

  6. I as well as my pals were found to be looking through the great strategies located on your web page then at once got a terrible feeling I never thanked the web site owner for those strategies. These ladies had been certainly stimulated to read all of them and have in effect undoubtedly been loving these things. Appreciate your simply being simply thoughtful as well as for figuring out some very good subject areas millions of individuals are really desirous to be informed on. My sincere regret for not saying thanks to you sooner.

  7. As I website possessor I believe the content matter here is rattling wonderful , appreciate it for your efforts. You should keep it up forever! Good Luck.

  8. What i don’t realize is actually how you are now not actually much more smartly-preferred than you might be right now. You’re very intelligent. You realize therefore considerably in terms of this matter, produced me personally consider it from so many various angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be interested except it is something to do with Girl gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. At all times take care of it up!

  9. This is the right blog for anyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  10. Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding one? Thanks a lot!

  11. I really enjoy reading on this internet site, it contains superb content. “And all the winds go sighing, For sweet things dying.” by Christina Georgina Rossetti.

  12. Good V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or something, website theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Excellent task..

  13. I’ve been surfing on-line more than 3 hours as of late, but I by no means found any attention-grabbing article like yours. It’s pretty value enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did, the net might be a lot more helpful than ever before. “Dignity is not negotiable. Dignity is the honor of the family.” by Vartan Gregorian.

  14. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all folks you actually know what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also seek advice from my website =). We can have a link trade arrangement among us!

  15. Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you¦ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched all over the place and simply could not come across. What a great website.

  16. Appreciating the time and energy you put into your website and in depth information you provide. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same unwanted rehashed information. Great read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  17. Way cool, some valid points! I appreciate you making this article available, the rest of the site is also high quality. Have a fun.

  18. Hey! I just want to give a huge thumbs up for the nice information you’ve got right here on this post. I shall be coming back to your weblog for extra soon.

  19. Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any points or suggestions? Many thanks

  20. I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!

  21. Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

  22. An fascinating discussion is price comment. I feel that you must write extra on this subject, it won’t be a taboo topic however usually persons are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

  23. Some truly nice and utilitarian information on this web site, besides I believe the style has got excellent features.

  24. Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Excellent task.

  25. F*ckin’ tremendous things here. I’m very glad to see your post. Thanks a lot and i am looking forward to contact you. Will you kindly drop me a e-mail?

  26. I cling on to listening to the newscast lecture about receiving free online grant applications so I have been looking around for the top site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i find some?

  27. I conceive this web site holds some really superb info for everyone :D. “Time–our youth–it never really goes, does it It is all held in our minds.” by Helen Hoover Santmyer.

  28. I was very pleased to find this web-site.I wanted to thanks for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.

  29. The following time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, however I truly thought youd have one thing attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you possibly can fix in the event you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

  30. Keep up the superb work, I read few blog posts on this internet site and I conceive that your site is really interesting and has got circles of wonderful information.

  31. I’m impressed, I have to say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the problem is something that not enough persons are speaking intelligently about. I am very completely happy that I stumbled throughout this in my search for one thing relating to this.

  32. Hiya, I am really glad I’ve found this info. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is really annoying. A good site with interesting content, this is what I need. Thanks for keeping this website, I’ll be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  33. I have not checked in here for some time as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  34. wonderful publish, very informative. I wonder why the opposite experts of this sector don’t understand this. You should proceed your writing. I’m sure, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  35. I genuinely enjoy reading through on this site, it has got great articles. “A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself.” by Samuel Johnson.

  36. I beloved up to you will receive carried out right here. The comic strip is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you want be handing over the following. unwell definitely come more beforehand once more since exactly the same just about a lot frequently within case you shield this hike.

  37. I have recently started a blog, the information you offer on this website has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work. “‘Tis our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world.” by George Washington.

  38. Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thanks However I’m experiencing issue with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting an identical rss drawback? Anyone who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  39. I like what you guys are up too. Such intelligent work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site :).

  40. I keep listening to the newscast speak about receiving boundless online grant applications so I have been looking around for the most excellent site to get one. Could you advise me please, where could i find some?

  41. Can I simply say what a aid to seek out someone who really is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know the best way to carry a problem to mild and make it important. Extra people must read this and perceive this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre not more widespread since you definitely have the gift.

  42. Just wish to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your post is simply cool and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.

  43. Keep up the excellent work, I read few blog posts on this web site and I conceive that your web blog is really interesting and contains bands of superb info .

  44. “the establishment of the industry Committee of the Friends ofthe new product launch platform. Together to bring you,we can see based. Project, has become a social networkrecruitment providing companies. Schoolunity, reducing the translation into other companies.Wait until the can make his travel experience, increase Industry Career Fairs.Hong Kong 1 on 2 the date of the effective date, for your reference consulting enterprises.So that students in the mastery in learning this tutorial.”

  45. Hiya, I’m really glad I’ve found this information. Today bloggers publish only about gossips and net and this is really annoying. A good web site with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this web-site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  46. It?¦s really a great and helpful piece of information. I?¦m satisfied that you simply shared this useful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  47. Hi there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!

  48. Good write-up, I am normal visitor of one¦s web site, maintain up the nice operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.

  49. My brother suggested I might like this blog. He used to be entirely right. This submit actually made my day. You cann’t believe simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  50. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  51. It’s fantastic that you are currently getting ideas using this article as well as from my dialogue made at the moment.

  52. Excellent weblog right here! Also your website a lot up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I want my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  53. Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have created some nice methods and we are looking to swap methods with others, why not shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  54. [url=http://iventolin.com/]generic ventolin[/url] [url=http://tadalafilm.com/]tadalafil 20[/url] [url=http://baclofenonline.com/]baclofen online pharmacy[/url] [url=http://prednisonesr.com/]50mg prednisone tablet[/url]

  55. Hey there are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  56. Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research about this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent info being shared freely out there.

  57. [url=https://toradolrx.com/]toradol medicine[/url] [url=https://seroquel365.com/]seroquel generic cost[/url] [url=https://tadalafilm.com/]tadalafil tablets 20 mg[/url] [url=https://propeciaph.com/]buy propecia[/url]

  58. [url=https://cialissr.com/]cialis generic[/url] [url=https://prozacflx.com/]prozac online[/url] [url=https://accutanne.com/]buy accutane[/url] [url=https://ampicillin24.com/]ampicillin 500mg[/url]

  59. [url=https://toradolrx.com/]buy toradol[/url] [url=https://prozacflx.com/]prozac drugstore[/url]

  60. [url=http://kamagraed.com/]kamagra pill[/url] [url=http://propeciaph.com/]propecia 1mg generic[/url] [url=http://amoxicillinlab.com/]buy amoxicillin[/url] [url=http://synthroidsale.com/]synthroid price[/url] [url=http://cialissr.com/]generic cialis tadalafil[/url] [url=http://robaxinmed.com/]robaxin 500 mg tablet[/url] [url=http://tadalafilm.com/]tadalafil online uk[/url] [url=http://tadalafilcls.com/]generic tadalafil[/url]

  61. I just want to tell you that I am just all new to blogs and seriously savored this web-site. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your site . You certainly come with wonderful articles. Thank you for sharing with us your web site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *